We all seek that special person who is right for us but if you’ve been through enough relationships, you being to suspect there’s no right person, just different types of wrong. You may be asking, “Why?” It’s because you yourself are wrong in some way and you tend to seek our partners who are wrong as well, in their own way. It takes life experience and a certain amount of “growing” to fully accept your own wrongness. It isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons and unsolved problems, the ones that truly define who you are, that you’re ready to find your “person.” Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person, the right person. Someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the type of problem I want to have.”
Silence is dry, sound is wet. Volume is the mass of sound. In silence, you can hear people think, but only when their bodies stop making noises. But who cares what people think? The more noise their body makes is more interesting anyways. Listen to your body and ignore people.
When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partners’ body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goose bumps, and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.
Find someone that is’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect, but treats you as you are. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and means it. Find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair, but still falls in love with you all over again.
If he still sees the beauty in you, still falls more in love with you after seeing your weird facial expressions, your unusual laugh, your constant complaining/bitching, your ugly days, your pig out days, the way you toss and turn in your sleep, your stupid/corny jokes, the way you ask questions about things you should already know the answers to but he answers them anyways, your obsession with strange things, your random sounds, and your immaturity……then you already know he is this boy.
Sometimes you’ve got to run away to see who will run after you. You’ve got to talk quieter to see who’s really listening to you. You’ve got to step up, fight, and see who’s standing by your side. You’ve got to make a wrong decision in order to see who’s there to help you fix it. You’ve got to let go of the one you love to see if they love you enough to come back. So I ask, are you the chaser or the chase-e?
I think it’s more than healthy to spend some time alone. It’s not about space or comfort, being alone gives you a sense of peace and the opportunity to find yourself. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.
It’s never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no such thing as a time limit, so stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules. You can either make the best or worst of it, but I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see the things that startle you and feel the things that you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people in a different point of view as well as living the life you are proud of. Cause if not, you always have the chance to start again.
It makes me incredibly happy when people remember small details about me. Even the simple things, like my favourite colour, or favourite song. It’s nice to know that you matter enough for them to remember such an insignificant thing.